Grandeeflauras

untitled

2008-03-27T00:00:00.003+08:00

At the end of the day, it's all about the constant pressure to perform.

And with this, grandeeflauras takes her exit for good. I think.

mad maniac march

2008-03-07T00:00:00.007+08:00

I'm as good as putting myself on the hangman's noose if my time management screws up this month. Two more midterms to tackle in the next two weeks which I haven't even started studying for, two more quizzes scheduled for the month, a listening test, fieldwork and essay write-up for two more major projects, practical 3, hobo data analysis report (equivalent to a graduate module eh. I hope I don't get a headache staring at a few hundred thousand numbers *I am not kidding* and trying to make sense out of it, and if I don't maybe I'll aim for graduate school. haha) and a whole string of other individual assignments for tourism and mandarin plus readings. I can already foresee an extremely trying weekend ahead what more with my whole saturday and three-quarters of my sunday burnt because the cousin is getting married. I only have today to clear a whole list of things which is possible to complete if I don't sleep and the brain is performing at its best, which unfortunately is not. I'll be too worn out on sunday to do anything. Oh dear.

Goodness. I've never felt or even been like this in other semesters before. I wonder where all the calmness went to. But thankfully, the engine is up and running again albeit not at its optimum yet despite having been at its very lowest for the past few days. May it last.

"Verily, with every hardship comes ease!"
[Surah Al-Insyirah 94:6]

kepada kau yang berdiri di situ

2008-02-26T13:20:00.003+08:00

siapakah kau
untuk berdiri di situ,
melemparkan bicara tajammu
tanpa beralas,
menikam sesukamu
ciptaan illahi yang kurang sempurna.

siapakah kau
untuk berdiri di situ,
mempersoalku,
meneliti,
mencari kesilapanku.

siapakah kau
untuk berdiri di situ,
.
.
.
sememangnya kaulah manusia
tiada berhati.

sememangnya aku bukan manusia sempurna.

nothing. yeah right.

2008-02-26T10:29:00.007+08:00

It's a pity when someone's passion to pursue something is dampened by parents objections on the basis that it is worth 'nothing'.

Every knowledge, every field, has its worth, mister. Why can't you just see that?

achmed and peanuts with jeff dunham

2008-02-24T23:42:00.006+08:00

A friend sent to me a video last night and I thought it was really funny, so just to share.

Jeff Dunham and Achmed the Dead Terrorist

Jeff Dunham and Peanuts Part One

Jeff Dunham and Peanuts Part Two

Enjoy!

one-liners

2008-02-21T21:56:00.002+08:00

There are the ones that delude you from the truth and the ones that make you see the truth.

show me a sign

2008-02-18T14:03:00.002+08:00

Field Studies in Thailand or IVP?
How now, brown cow?

never wear all-white to weddings

2008-02-18T02:12:00.017+08:00

I've been away to Sungei Mas in Malaysia for the weekend and I am still tired and worn-out from the trip. So penat! Met up with all the yayis and nyais plus aunts and uncles and a whole platoon of second cousins. The wedding went pretty well and the food was good. Pak Long (bapa pengantin) was chef for the majlis!

Abang Apiz and Kak Ayu.

Plus, they had a pretty awesome host. I get to meet Uncle Amran Tompel whose father is A.R Tompel. He was really good at hosting and belting out a series of songs throughout the entire wedding. He's such an awesome man and it was really nice listening to his stories and his views during the wedding and post-wedding. Plus, he is so funny!

A.R. Tompel

Uncle Amran Tompel

During the lucky draw

uncle amran: nombor 25...25...ada?...takde?...25
me: oh saya, saya!
uncle amran: eh eh mcm pengantin. ni anak siapa ni?
me: anak harris.
uncle amran: eh kau ni keturunan arab ke, hindustan ke, go head go stan?
me: hahahahaha. (apa saje si uncle ni tau!)

uncle amran: eh ni lagi lawa!
sister: *smiles sheepishly
uncle amran: ni dah besar ni nak jadi apa?
sister: psychologist
uncle amran: ah ape?
sister ahli psikologi.
uncle amran: oh kau nak jaga orang gila...ah bagus.

And if there was one lesson to be learnt, NEVER be dressed in all white to weddings or you'll end up being mistaken for the bride. I had to explain so many times that no, I am not the bride that I think I am more exhausted doing that than anything else. I was only wearing my white kebaya with white tudung AND the kendarat corsage- now how does that make me a bride? Hahaha. Entahlah, I also don't know.

While giving out bunga rampai during the marhaban:

sister: kak, some people just asked me if you are the bride.
me: ???? (bride giving out bunga rampai?)

While with mak pengantin, my mak long

lady: ni pengantinnya eh? (while salam-ing me)
me: eh bukan!
mak pengantin: ini anak sedara saya dari Singapura!
mak and sis: HAHAHAHA. (they couldn't stop grinning like a kerang busuk every time that happens)
lady: oh bukan. tapi dah macam ada bau-baunya aje!
mak: hehehe. belum masanya lagi.

Yes ah! My mother rocks because she's not a typical makcik who only thinks of kahwin. And she always comes to my defences. =)

While randomly walking in the majlis area:

pakcik one: tu pengantinnya eh?
pakcik two: yang mana? yang mana?
pakcik three: ni yang pakai baju putih ni (I happened to walk pass)
me: (not again! haha.)

We went to Desaru the next morning for just a short getaway before we continued visiting the rest of the relatives at their respective houses.

And then it was back to homeland.
One down, a few more weddings to go.
I'll be missing saturday trainings again. Oops.

only the strong survive

2008-02-07T22:18:00.000+08:00

The Game Of Life by Scorpions

The time has come
For me to talk to you
And I don't mean
To hurt your pride
But everybody needs a friend sometimes
To make you see the light

In the game of life
The strong survive
We're on a one-way street
We gotta make it out alive
And never let 'em drag us down
In the game of life
We live and die
Another breath begins
Another chance to win the fight
From the moment that you hit the ground
In the game of life

You're born to hunt
And never run away
And then you're hunted
By the prey
The wounded deer
Leaps highest to the sun
Until his day is done

In the game of life
The strong survive
We're on a one-way street
We gotta make it out alive
And never let 'em drag us down
In the game of life
We live and die
Another breath begins
Another chance to win the fight
From the moment that you hit the ground

Here comes the morning
It's time to play
The game of life
The game of life

In the game of life
The strong survive
We're on a one-way street
We gotta make it out alive
And never let 'em drag us down
In the game of life
We live and die
Another breath begins
Another chance to win the fight
From the moment that you hit the ground
It's the game of life
The game of life

weather girl at work with her hobo

2008-02-03T22:28:00.000+08:00

I've already introduced my new friend, Hobo in the last post and now, I have abandoned him in the mini jungle of Seletar to fend for itself. Hobo is actually a temperature and humidity sensor which can record data every five minutes. I'm doing a project for my module on urban climate and Hobo is the key data collector.

I was accompanied by abah and brother to set up Hobo in the mini jungle of Seletar, which happens to be my old abode which I miss dearly. Thus, it was a walk down memory lane of some sorts and frankly, I want to relive back the first seventeen years of my life because back then, I can safely say that I lived in a very different environment from those of my generation. Think mini forest, four-storey blocks, free parking, foreign workers, stray dogs and mini orchard all put in one place. Plus, everyone knows everyone so we have the luxury of using the space on the public front lawn to dry our stuff without fear of of it being stolen. Even neighbours were kind enough to bring in those things when it rains.

Since I still live in Jalan Kayu, all we had to do was walk from our new home to the old home.

The bookmarked point (H2) is where my Hobo is supposed to be placed.

Jalan Kayu!

Here is the old bus stop that has been upgraded.

Grand entrance into Seletar West Farmway 4.

Ah...the long road that I walked in since I was born.

And on the right is the mini jungle track that can lead to my old block.

And then, I see my good, old block 6 while walking in!
It's quite far actually, but I zoomed in because I cannot get anywhere near since it already became dorms for foreign workers.

See more foliage? I already said I lived in a mini jungle. Seletar West Farmway 6 to the right!

Walking along Seletar West Farmway 6 - enjoying the moment while it lasts.

Walk further in and we reached the old temple.

We walked even further in and then all you see is green, green and more green.

Aha! Welcome to the roads of my kampung!

That's abah carrying the mini ladder and brother who tagged along to help me set up my Hobo.

We finally reached the place where I needed to set up my Hobo. I really miss having such roads as a staple in my everyday life.

And then I'm off to set Hobo up! Abah and brother helped of course.

And voila! It's up and running.

With Hobo secured, we left for home while stopping here and there to reminisce the good, old days which we missed so much.

I hope Hobo stays safe and sound for the next one month. Till we meet again, Hobo. =)

mad company with their hobos

2008-02-02T10:00:00.000+08:00

Because The Sister gave me two one-for-one sundae vouchers, I decided to spend it with my favourite urban climatologists on Friday! =) We were so high on sugar and carbo at the end of it all since each of us ate 1 1/3 of a sundae (since we had FOUR sundaes to finish between us three) and then went to Banquet for our savoury fix of carrot cake and chicken rice. Gluttons I tell you. Mandatory group and pair shots are a must, so here goes.

The Urban Climatologists

Muni and Nora!

My turn with Nora!

At this point, I want to introduce you to our new friend, Hobo. An this is Hobo, all white and mighty and nice in which we spent almost an hour fixing it.

I shall not elaborate much on Hobo because that will come in another post where you can see climatologists-wannabe at work. Anyway, each of us have our own Hobo where we had to lug it around in a relatively big box around school in which we conjured up stares and questions from everyone we met along the way. At least we were not stopped by the mrt personnel for security checks. Heh.

Nora is exhilarated with her Hobo-13.

Muni looks all sweet and girly with her Hobo-01.

And I was just trying to add diversity to the range of emotions. =) Mine is Hobo-10.

And then our ice-cream came!

Introducing Frosted, Crumble and Nutty.

Nutty Mighty's mine!

And once we were done with that, Sticky was next. By that time, we were already on a sugar high.

Sticky!

Ok dahlah. I shall end of with pictures of us with our Hobo, so you can imagine how cumbersome it was to carry it around.

At the end of it all - tired, sugar and carbo high and shiny.

since we were thirteen

2008-01-28T00:35:00.000+08:00

Sunday was just awesome possum (mr khairul, the diva teacher will probably kill me if he sees such atrocious language, but who cares) because holy four met after eons of not doing so. It's moments like these that I really treasure since each and everyone of us are pretty much separated by distance. Fish is mostly away in down under (and doesn't come back very often), nis is in boon lay island and the diva teacher has just finished serving the nation and currently teaching in our alma mater.

It was such a joy just sitting in the company of those who mattered and reminiscing about all the crazy and wild things we did back in our anderson days. I really like it how I can truly kick back, relax, loosen up, be at utmost ease and really be myself around them even after all these years. We can talk about everything and anything under the sun without having to filter anything we say. We might not meet as often as we would like to, but I'm glad that some things just never change.

So here's to many, many more crazy years to come because you people are definitely worth the effort. =)

just a thought

2008-01-24T23:17:00.000+08:00

For a moment when I thought I had sworn off climatology for good, I am actually reading it again (and loving it).

Now that I think of it, maybe, just maybe, I'll be a weather girl instead of an educator. Nyehehe.

will-2-wheel

2008-01-21T20:19:00.000+08:00

My weekend was spent away on night cycling and oh boy, it was fun especially since I was in the loudest and most happening giler group with people such as muni, fanah, fatimah, liyanna, 'ain, shahilah, anisah, fadzli, hafiz and our two facis, suli and hasan. We are always on a constant high throughout the night and I have no idea where all that energy came from. Talking nonsense, singing at the top of our lungs like nobody's business (it did not rain, thankfully or omar would have personally mutilated us or something) and of course, camwhoring is second nature to all of us, so we spent every possible moment taking photos. Too bad we couldn't take pictures while we are on the go, though. But many yays to team Casper (because we are the best - in many more ways than one. heh)!

Anyway, I would like to congratulate the whole night cycling committee for having done such a splendid job. The route was awesome although there were moments when I got a bit scared because of the fast-moving traffic on the right, but the outriders did a good job keeping everyone safe while on the move. Food and drinks were sufficient to keep us hydrated and filled, so I have no complains about that. Oklah, basically no complains. So good job people!

when all comfort was gone

2008-01-18T20:26:00.000+08:00

It has been a good day all along,
until the bomb dropped,
shattering the serenity and calm in Friday's waters.

of school and amusement

2008-01-18T16:48:00.000+08:00

There goes one week of school. Everything is moving so fast and before you know it, week one is over. Nevertheless, it felt good to be back among the buzz of familiar people and familiar landscapes (so geographical. nyehehe). I can foresee a rather heavy workload this semester, but with good time management, everything should go smoothly.

On another note, I just remembered something amusing which happened a few days ago. I was out with the younger brother who is 2 years my junior when we met his friend at the bus interchange and the first question that popped out from the friend's mouth was,

"Eh, your girlfriend ah?"
(with a huge grin on his face)

Goodness, gracious me! I know that we look worlds apart and to not have guessed that we are siblings is okay, but to have mistaken me as his girlfriend is quite amusing. It must be the difference in height. Haha. I wanted to burst out laughing but luckily I did not. Well, I didn't want to prolong the friend's embarrassment since we are all waiting for the same bus to get home.

So, if you happened to see me with a guy, it might just be my little brother who is not so little anymore and no one else. =)

what a way to start a day

2008-01-17T08:08:00.000+08:00

I had my first chinese 2 lecture yesterday and we were learning about modifiers. I had to create a sentence from the helping words given and since I was a little desperate in my attempt because I was trying to figure out which characters meant what, I came out with this sentence:

很高的人都不好。
(meaning: Tall people are all not good. -_-")

And that made the whole class erupt into laughter. Haha. Out of so many possible permutations to make a sentence, I had to come out with this. Anyway, no offense to tall people out there because clearly, I don't harbour this opinion in any way. Really. =)

technicalities

2008-01-15T23:52:00.000+08:00

Having the ability to speak a language does not warrant an ability to teach the language. It's a different ball game altogether. I can get quite exasperated when I teach grammar to the class because sometimes I don't even know how to explain why the sentence structure is as such or under what classification words fall under the plethora of groupings available. Well, I just know that it is as such because my gut feeling says so or it sounds right or like duh it is like that because it just is. Don't ask why. And to think that I am only teaching Primary Four english. It has never been a favourite of mine to dissect language into it's technicalities and now I am forced to do it.

subject + predicate = sentence
compound nouns
squinting and dangling modifiers
punctuation between two independant clauses
conjunctions
determiners

And these are just some of the technicalities that are trying to find a permanent placement in the sea of my mind. Actually, I don't need to be technical when teaching. It's just that I need them at my fingertips so that I can explain clearly should the need arise. And then I realise, I have a lot to learn.

mara

2008-01-15T08:16:00.000+08:00

pabila jalan terlurus bercabang dua,
terhenti sejenak, beralaskan resah,
perhitungan saksama menjadi cabaran.

mara ke kanan,
masyarakat memandang
mara ke kiri,
sendiri terkilan.

biarlah aku dengan arus sendiri
takkan ia terpateri hanya dalam mimpi,
buat julung kalinya
biarlah hati sendiri
menjadi penentu,

langkah,
seterusnya.

*jiwang mode deactivated. nyehehe. aargh, my malay doesnt flow as nicely as it used to anymore.

of all things academic

2008-01-14T16:00:00.000+08:00

It's time again to hit the books.
Work hard and play hard.
Have a good semester, you all!

a dose of grey's

2008-01-11T09:44:00.000+08:00

“Some people believe that without history, our lives amount to nothing. At some point we all have to choose: do we fall back on what we know, or do we step forward to something new? It's hard not to be haunted by our past. Our history is what shapes us... what guides us. Our history resurfaces time after time after time. So we have to remember sometimes the most important history is the history we're making today.”
-Dr. Meredith Grey

wo xi huan han zi

2008-01-10T23:19:00.000+08:00

If there's one thing on my list of to-do-things for the holidays, it is this:

Holidays are going to end in 3 days time but I have only finally started revising on my Chinese! I love studying this language because it is so interesting and fun! I never got tired of learning it although it can be quite heavy at times with numerous quizzes, worksheets and projects. My geog mates (zul, shehnaz and ibrahim) should remember how I openly revised for chinese during geog lectures and tutorials in sem 2 because I had a quiz/test right after that. Heh. Must multi-task what. I'm listening AND revising ok. Haha. I hope chinese 2 will be just as fun.

All right, I should stop blogging so much. This is already my third post in a day. Sheesh. Seelah, when I am on a roll, I post too much. This must be a record especially coming from me (who used to post only once a month until some people started to tegur on my tagboard. heh).

And for my own record, I've used only FIVE points for five modules this sem. Nyehehe.

let it rain and let it pour

2008-01-10T17:14:00.000+08:00

I've had been wanting to design my own blogskin since the holidays started but I've been left uninspired to get it going. As such, I've resorted to blogskins.com for my fix of templates. I think drogue designs is one of the best skin designing team of all time. La Musique (my previous blogskin) was designed by them and so is the current one, Rain On Me (by BigFish).

Many credits to drogue designs for such awesome work.

I tweaked it a teeny weeny bit, so I hope BigFish won't mind.

inspire me

2008-01-10T11:34:00.000+08:00

Our greatest glory is not in never falling,
but in rising every time we fall.

-Chinese Proverb-

NUS Silat Chalet

2008-01-08T08:12:00.000+08:00

2008. I wonder what this year will bring. Hmm...maybe I'll be more diligent in updating this blog. Haha. Anyway, 2008 started off with a bang with the NUS Silat Chalet gracing the start of the new year. I had so much fun at the chalet because new bonds were made and old bonds were strengthened. I really thought that Syikin did a brilliant job out of it - from the food, games, activities and making sure that every single minor detail is not left out.

Day One

shopping for logistic (sorry if I was being a little anal. I'm just keeping budget in check). wash and marinate chicken. ayam penyet. charades. humdinger. suster ngesot. 300. sleeping on the couch while watching 300 and only waking up during the war scenes (haha). proper sleep.

Day Two

attempted to catch the sunrise. lots of camwhore. reliving our childhood. hotseat with 5 freshies (you all better shut up ah. I will too). breakfast. enchanted while waiting for the rest to wake up. nasi lemak. dog and bone. captain's ball. rumah dayak. ultimate frisbee. girl talk (thanks girls for all the things you've said). bbq. charades (how to act out chai chee? or biduk lalu kiambang bertaut? but my group was awesome. we managed to guess most of the words). hotseat (again). not much sleep.

Day Three

pack up. home sweet home. and these are the people who made things possible. my family away from home. =)

So basically that sums up the chalet we had. Actually it was my first chalet that my parents ever allowed me to stay overnight at. Heh.

it's just a number

2007-12-27T10:30:00.000+08:00

I can never understand myself sometimes. I wonder how I can score brilliantly (it's not even good, it's brilliant/fantastic/pinnacle of excellence!) for something that I put the least effort into or rather none at all and for those that I actually put in as much effort, I don't do a decent job out of it. I've been drilled to think that the key to success is hard work. No pain, no gain. Yeah right. It has been a less pain, more gain for me since the beginning of times. It happens MOST of the time so that rules out that it was just an anomaly. At this moment, I'm seriously beginning to doubt the 'no pain, no gain' mantra because it does not seem to be applicable to me in many more ways than one.

And sometimes, it's really sad how a number (it's just a number! this is so trivial) can have so much effect on you when actually there are other more serious and pressing things to worry about.

But yeah, I know I need to press on, smile and move forward even if it gets mathematically impossible to up the number.

Or maybe I shouldn't be too hardworking. I'll be much less disappointed that way.
(and perhaps do very much better)

for what's a pencil worth

2007-12-22T01:00:00.000+08:00

Here's a little something that I thought is worth sharing. Some things we may already know, but sometimes we just need a little reminder so we don't forget those things that are worth remembering.

The Story of the Pencil

A boy was watching his grandmother write a letter. At one point, he asked:

'Are you writing a story about what we've done? Is it a story about me?'

His grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson:

'I am writing about you, actually, but more important than the words is the pencil I'm using. I hope you will be like this pencil when you grow up.'

Intrigued, the boy looked at the pencil. It didn't seem very special.

'But it's just like any other pencil that I've ever seen.'

'That depends on how you look at things. It has five qualities which, if you manage to hang on to them, will make you a person who is always at peace with the world.'

'First quality: you are capable of great things, but you must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. We call that hand God, and He always guides us according to His will.'

'Second quality: now and then, I have to stop writing and use a sharperner. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, he's much sharper. So, you, too must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because that will make you a better person.'

'Third quality: the pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. this means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps keep us on the road to justice.'

'Fourth quality: what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. So always pay attention to what is happening inside you.

'Finally the pencil's fifth quality: it always leaves a mark. In just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in your every action.'

- Like the Flowing River, Pauolo Coelho

We should all strive to be like the pencil. Really. Plus, you don't have to look special to be special (just like the humble pencil). =)

PPIS FSC Performance

2007-12-17T09:01:00.000+08:00

Performance on Saturday was well done, I must say. Despite the very short period of training for it, we pulled it off with minimal glitches. Kudos to everyone especially those year ones who just had their maiden performance. =)

You can catch the action in the video below.

Enjoy!

sealed with a kiss

2007-12-15T09:36:00.000+08:00

I was listening to Class95 this morning when this song was played. Somehow it just struck a chord in me not because of the lyrics, but because of the melody, the tune, the voice of the singer. It just seems so sincere and true - ok perhaps it was a morning and my state of mind is still in a dreamy mode. But still. Ah, one of the many songs that captured my attention with its very first note.

where can I find my true love's kiss?

2007-12-14T07:58:00.000+08:00

One week into the vacation and I erm havent done much. It has always been training, training and more training. And since I havent done any form of strenous excerises for 2 weeks, I actually forgot how it feels like to be sooooo tired. I need to be more consistent in excercising man. Muscle aches from head to toe is just...dreadful. Anyway, I really hope the PPIS performance this Saturday (eh it's tmr lah!) will go as well as it possibly could. I better not forget any of the movements like what happened during Malaysian Night. And that reminds me, I still have the new timings to memorise and familiarise. Dang!

Enchanted on Tuesday with Supersexy was awesome! Where can I find my true love's kiss? Haha. You'll find it when you are destined to find it. =)

But I had to miss bowling with the girls on Thursday because I had training which was supposed to be in the evening but got changed to the afternoon. I felt so bad I had to ditch them at the last minute and that is so not me at all. And it's not often that I get to meet them. Plus, it's so difficult to plan these outings because our schedule always clash, which makes me feel all the more worse. Getting a day where everyone is free is like having an opportunity to fly to the moon. Haha. I couldn't think of a better analogy, but you get the drift. But I'm quite sure that you girls had fun even without me, right? Next time I join ok? InsyaAllah.

unleashed

2007-12-07T09:47:00.000+08:00

At long last, the chains that have bounded me has been cut loose. Ah...the feeling of liberation is just so....liberating. Anyway, I want to do something special, something different this December, but I don't know what. Yet. I need to find something enriching, something that will provide me with a different perspective. Any ideas anyone?

Anyway, my darling thirteen year old brother had NOTHING better to do and he typed this on my pamplemousse while I wasn't looking.

(Translation: This bank book is from me. Use this bank book as best as you can to change your life. The bank book is here - if cannot see, I don't know what to say)

So crappy, right? And yes, that is my bank book and it is green. Nyehehehe. Well, that's my brother for you. The one who never fails to bully me, the one who always make me laugh and the one who always fights over the computer with me, the one who is relatively quiet but when he does say something, it leaves you either laughing hysterically or makes you feel like sidekicking him on the tummy because he can be really witty. Since I love him so much, I shall make some space for him here in this post.

Ah there, the crappy baby brother who is growing up too fast and who is now as tall as I am

(and will soon be taller than me. dang).

it's all coming back to me now

2007-12-03T02:16:00.000+08:00

December. Ah, the month where my house temperature drops to such levels that you are forced to don on the jacket because the cold monsoon winds are blowing in 24/7 unless you close the windows (which we don't because we love the wind). Also, it's time to party because my vacation is here! All right, I have ONE more paper to tackle, but I am bored out of my wits already. Yay, I can finally meet my friends whom I haven't met for the longest of times, make my mum happy by being her responsible (chey...responsible) domestic helper (as wonderfully coined by Abang TJ), bake, cook, sister bonding, brother bonding, cousin bonding and whoever else that wants to strengthen their bonds with me. And I also have many, many things I want to do in December and insyaAllah it will be a fulfilling one.

Anyway, I was just thinking about how I tend to put emotions aside when I deal with most things (I'm masculine that way. heh) and I think that is why I only feel the gravity of something not when it happened, but after it is over. Perhaps it is also the reason why I tend to have mornings where I wake up and suddenly everything that has happened in the past come flooding back to me with such speed that it leaves me wanting to cry and/or laugh all over again. It's like, one ordinary morning, you wake up and a million thoughts decided to manifest itself in your head and a thousand emotions are felt at one instance.

And then you start to fully realise how sad you actually were when your heart broke, how serious the last argument with your mum was, how much you miss being around the people that once mattered, how stupid your actions were, how happy you were when you received your first present, how devastated you were when you lost that championships despite being that close and how much you love the people you love. It definitely puts you in the mood for reflections and it makes you cry, cringe, laugh and smile again as you slowly reminisce back on all these small things that matter so much.

Most of the time, it makes you see a different side of things, put you in a different light, see things that you never noticed before and your analysis of these situations gets even deeper. But there is something that I don't like about this because sometimes, the feelings gets more intense and you feel sadder or worser than when it first occurred. You tend to start thinking, "Darn, I shouldn't have done that!" or "I should have given him a chance" or you cry when you didn't even shed a tear previously.

Such are the works of life, eh? Well, I'll say, move on. No regrets. The past is the past and all that you could salvage from it are those lessons that comes with it. And hence, this is a toast to my past for bringing me so many wonderful life lessons and for shaping me to be what I am today. =)

would you be my solid ground?

2007-12-01T20:47:00.000+08:00

Sway by The Perishers

I talk to you as to a friend

I hope that's what you've come to be

It feels as though we've made amends

Like we found a way eventually

It was you who picked the pieces up

When I was a broken soul

And then glued me back together

Returned to me what others stole

I don't wanna hurt you

I don't wanna make you sway

Like I know I've done before

I will not do it anymore

I've always been a dreamer

I've had my head among the clouds

Now that I'm coming down

Won't you be my solid ground?

I look at you and see a friend

I hope that's what you wanna be

Are we back now where it all began

Have you finally forgiven me?

You gathered my dreams in

When they all blew away

And then tricked them back into me

You saved me I was almost dead

Ah...such a beautiful song.

0512.1900 - please come soon.

march on, soldier

2007-11-24T01:55:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired of studying already and I need to take a break before I burn out and lose steam halfway. I still have two weeks to go through before I can finally touch the bittersweet taste of freedom. Oh boy, that is still a looooong way to go. But for now, I have to tell myself (and everyone else too) to press on, because the end is almost here. Cannot slack!

when my shining gem finally emerge

2007-11-22T20:14:00.000+08:00

I woke up in the morning only to receive two smses reminding me that PSLE results will be out today. Ok, so I was a little jittery and nervous because I am just as anxious as the little kiddo and her mummy. But as usual, being the cool, calm and collected person I am, I went through my morning routines although my mind kept thinking about what kind of news will I be getting from my little kiddo.

If any of you could remember, I once lamented about my problematic tutee who, then, has a very slim chance of making it pass primary six unless she does something about it. It's not entirely her fault that she's not brilliant like other kids though. So my expectations for her were simple. Clear the PSLE and move on to sec one. I don't care if she goes to normal technical stream because all that matters was not to repeat the PSLE.

The anticipated call came at long last and I was elated beyond words when her mum told me that my little kiddo had passed! If there was one thing that made me truly happy this week, this was it. I'm glad that this long journey that I chose to make with her had come to a brilliant ending. When I look back at all the times when I felt like giving up, I'm glad I didn't. She started off like a black diamond who needs to be polished, and today, she emerged as my shining gem.

To Rusydah Irdina, I'm extremely proud of you, my dear. Despite all odds, you made it. To me, you are a winner, in many more ways than one. =)

2007-11-07T00:34:00.000+08:00

Last weekend was awesome because I get to meet my anderson peeps for jalan raya! Plus, I get to see mas, whom I haven't seen in like four years? I like it how we almost automatically make it a point to have it every year eventhough most of us don't meet during any other times the rest of the year. It's a pity that we didn't get to visit Cikgu Asnah though. I'm sure we all miss her, don't we all? Heh. Anyway, thank you ali for being our chief organiser! Like khairul huda said, "Very systematic". Best! I shall officially appoint you as our chief organiser for the rest of the years to come, k? Hehe. Oh yeah, photos are already in ellemas and mukabuku for your viewing pleasure.

And because it's November already, some things just need to get going. For instance....

....Ah, picture above sums it all up. It better be a good one this time round. We can do it, we all can. Somehow.

And I cannot wait for next week! Please let next week come quickly because someone whom I miss dearly will be back. Can't wait to see you, honey! =)

pabila syawal menjelma

2007-10-14T10:50:00.000+08:00

We're blue this year, but not our mood of course. I just love our colour theme this year! So biru.

And so, pre-raya was filled with the usual buzz of cleaning the house, rebus-ing the ketupats, cooking the numerous dishes (which involves lots and lots of cutting) and filling up the kuih canisters.

Hari Raya itself was an awesome affair. Enough said.

I'm too lazy to update lah. Heh.

bila kuturutkan bisikan naluri

2007-09-30T21:26:00.000+08:00

Tertulis bicara hatimu di atas kertas
tersimpan,
Intisarinya sarat tersirat,
Rintihan ikhlas,
Kenangan lalu,
Persoalanmu menanti
Jawapanku.

Tidak pernah kuhargai,
hingga hari ini,
Pabila kertas tersimpan itu,
Menjelma lagi.

Tapi sayangnya,
Bicaramu di alam maya
merubah segalanya.

Biarlah ia tinggal memori semalam,
Menghilang di antara sepahan kenangan laluku.

look left, look right, look centre

2007-09-21T22:11:00.000+08:00

I went for the MOE Teaching Award talk today with Nora and once more, it set me off into a thinking frenzy all over again. I've been through this so many times already and sometimes I wish I won't think so much and just stay focus with that one goal in mind. Anyway, I was self-debating in my mind (I’ve had countless already) whether or not I should pursue the teaching track.

Half of me says that to teach is what I am destined to do. Yes, I love (notice I didnt use the word 'like') teaching, no qualms about that. Go for the TA girl! But the other half of me challenged me to be different, to move away from the female-malay-undergraduate-becomes-teacher syndrome. Balik-balik, anak melayu jadi cikgu.

But one quote that really struck me today was this,

‘A teacher’s job is not apparently ordinary because it is not about picking out the winner, it is about making the ordinary into a winner.’

I’m not quite sure if I captured it accurately, but it’s something along those lines. Woah such is a teacher’s job eh.

Anyway, I talked to Nora and all she said was, 'Aja!'. This girl is a classic I tell you. Her ‘Aja!’ response really cracks me up all the time. But then again, it serves as a motivation cos ‘aja’ is the equivalent of ‘jiayou’ and the likes.

I needed a breather from all these talk about decisions and what to do in the future, so I made an impulsive trip to the library today ten minutes before it closes. I wanted to borrow The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell but it was on loan. So, I went on pick-a-random-book-and-go mode (I am making myself sound like a machine. Haha) since I didnt have much time and also because I wanted to be surprised by what the chosen book had to offer. And so, by the forces of nature, without thinking or even reading the summary, I picked out Snow by Orhan Pamuk.

I've read the first chapter and woah, I can already tell it is the beginning of something exciting, the start of a cleverly woven masterpiece. =)

simple things that make me happy

2007-09-11T23:54:00.000+08:00

I'm very amused by the antics of my new kiddiewinks. Darren loves (not like) war and all he thinks about is killing people in the goriest way possible. Juan Poh so laid back and calm but can be quite mean when he's up to it. Pei Si talks a lot and is against boys. Qian Hui brings food every week to be shared with everyone and prefers sitting under the table because it's quieter. Put all four together and you get a fun class full of nonsense and craziness but still do their work. Whee! I taught them once and now I've become their permanent tutor. It's amazing that they can remember my name eventhough I've only met them once many, many weeks ago.

darren: (enters class) hi miss halimah!
me: hi darren! oh, you remember my name!
darren: of course I do.

darren: miss halimah, do you have a pickaxe?
me: what do you need a pickaxe for?
darren: I want to kill. I WANT WAR! (said it with full conviction)

Kiddiewinks nowadays. Haha.

me: this sentence means...bla bla...(ok I was I trying to explain the question)....
qian hui: miss halimah, you are very funny. (laughs incessantly)
me: huh? why am I funny? what did I do? what did I say?
qian hui: you just are. (smiles)
me: is that a good or bad?
qian hui: GOOD! (grins widely)

Me? Funny? That came as a surprise because if there is one adjective that I wouldnt use to describe myself, funny will be it. But then again, I am a different person when I am in class. Quite different really. I'm more, erm animated? Haha. These kids really put a smile on my face today. I was tired after classes ended at 6, but somehow, their energy just got transferred to me when I see each of their smiley faces.

And this song also make me smile everytime I hear it. It's catchy rhythm really lifts up my mood a few notches higher. Such a fantastic mood booster. Heh.

On another note:

"So lose not heart, nor fall into despair: for ye must gain mastery if ye are true in faith."
Surah Ali Imran, The Holy Quran
(3:139)

I hold on to this whenever I feel like giving up. Everyone should too. So thank you, you!

untitled

2007-08-18T01:29:00.000+08:00

And so, the first week of school has started and is now nearing its end. Alhamdulillah it has been a wholesome and awesome week thus far. It does feel good to be back in school, to once again immerse among the hustle and bustle of nus and to start all over the process of knowledge seeking. Studying sounds too drab dont you think? Heh. I love all my modules so far and somehow it gives me the assurance that I did choose the right major and that I am on the right track. =) I am going to get really busy this semester, but I am all geared up for it I think.

Anyway, a friend said this to me last night:

Courage doesnt always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow".

It just makes you feel like never giving up, dont you think? Thanks, friend!

On a more random note...

I really do not know what you mean by that cos it can mean two things, but I wish I could tell.

If only you could be more straightforward.

Heh.

dipendam atau terpendam?

2007-08-09T10:33:00.000+08:00

andainya matamu dapat
melihat
andainya telingamu dapat
mendengar
andainya kulitmu dapat
merasa
andainya hidungmu dapat
menghidu

pabila hatiku ingin berkata

kerana mulutku batu membisu,
belum mampu untuk kulafazkannya.

show me a sign and I'll know what to do

2007-08-08T21:33:00.000+08:00

I never knew, never expected and never envisioned what is it that could lie behind the hazy shadows when I chose to become part of this. I did not even think that it could happen. Fate has it that our paths were to cross, and I'm really glad it did. Eventhough we don't even know each other when this whole thingamagic started, even when we were somehow thrown into this unknown realm without actually knowing what we are in for, I am thankful that we could work things out, accept our differences, complement our strengths and weaknesses with one another and somehow, chemistry decides to kick in a while later. Our story has just begun. We are still at it's infancy and I know we want to make it right, eventually. In the years to come. In many many years to come. Maybe one day, when we look back, we can proudly proclaim that whatever took place in that third storey room on that sunday afternoon two months ago was never a mistake.

Anyway, I'm not talking about mr right or even a potential one, speculative readers. Let's not let our imaginations run wild, shall we? It's something else altogether. In fact, I'm referring to a group of people. Hahaha. Sorry for the anti-climax. =p

Oh well, I'm such a guarded person that most of the time, people do not understand my posts because I rarely direct my words to the subject in particular. It's not really for people to know anyway. Anyhoos, it has been a flurry of activites for the past few weeks that I have barely enough time to catch my breath. Heh. I shall cherish whatever is left of the holidays before school starts on Monday. Oh no, Tuesday for me in fact. By God's grace, I managed to have a three day work week for the semester! InsyaAllah, if tutorial registration goes okay, I will continue to have my blissful three-day-week. I have a few goals that I want to attain this semester and I want to make it come true. It's not just The Number that I am talking about, though.

If only I could clearly tell whether the feeling is real or simply a figment of my imagination.

mind cafe @ boat quay

2007-07-23T22:05:00.000+08:00

It's the Sixsomes outing once again! We just went crazy for a few hours playing board games and just catching up with one another. Very, very fun indeed.

This is Team Bug Too with their erm, tribal pose?

This is Team Giggles (although we don't really giggle. heh)

First up was a game of Cranium! This games is really fun because it gets you to do all sorts of things like acting, sculpting, humming, drawing (with your eyes open or close, in certain cases). I think we played the game a little bit wrongly, but we were too absorbed in it that we didnt notice until after we completed the game. Haha. And winner was Mary and I! =)

But the game that I really like best was Mad Gab! Haha. This game can be quite amusing. The thing is you need to figure out what is the word, sentence, phrase or name that is written on the card. For example, on the card it says 'The Odour Ruse Welt' (Theodore Roosevelt). So, you've got to figure out what it actually is within the time limit. Plus, there is an irritating noise that comes out from the timer that may drive you insane while you are busy trying to get your answers. And of course, The Giggles won this game!

Taboo was awesome as well, although I think I'm really bad at giving clues. I am very much better at guessing the words. So anyone who wants me on their team, please take note.

And here is the scoresheet, and Team Giggles were the champions of the day! =)

For the rest of the photos, click on VISUALS under La Notes.

Sentosa next week, my lovely ladies?

silat foc performance

2007-07-20T01:27:00.000+08:00

And here's a picture of us after our maiden performance. You can see from our happy faces that we are glad it is finally over. Having trained for tanding all these while, it's definitely not an easy feat for most of us to master seni within just two trainings. Eventhough there were a few screw ups along the way, it went unnoticeable to the untrained eyes except for those of Fazli and Zola who both commented that it was nice despite some mistakes here and there. And for those of you who missed the action, here are some pictures.

For the rest of the pictures, feel free to visit the NUS Silat Photobucket to get them. Alternatively, you can nudge me on msn. =)

[edit] This looks better. =)

are you that missing piece?

2007-07-19T14:24:00.000+08:00

Life is like a jigsaw puzzle and at every moment, we are constantly trying to find the pieces that needs to be fitted into those empty spaces. Because we all know that no two pieces are the same, we are constantly searching for that one piece to fill up that one gaping hole. But sometimes, we fail to find or even notice them, and more often than not, it's the wrong pieces that catches our attention and then, we resort to putting in those that best fit even if it doesnt. But is it really worth the risk of doing that just so we can make the picture of our life more complete?

And sometimes, I wonder how much you and I have changed over the years, best friend. Living in two totally different environments with only the past and memories as the constant in our lives, it's getting a little difficult to see where our common interests lie anymore. All the more the reason to just drop it and move on, some may say. Why bother when you know that the intersections that were once there are on it's way to divergence? Well, I bother because this divergence is not a sign of separation but an attempt by the mighty forces to knock some realization that something needs to be done.

Whatever lah k, just get yourself back here in sunny Singapura as soon as you can, jen. I think you need some girlfriend loving from me and also the heat here to thaw you. And while you are there, check out your mailbox because you'll never know when something might just hail over from here all the way to down under.

Anyway, I've been looking through my jukebox and for once, immerse myself into the lyrics of songs, trying to discover snippets of well-written lines and it suddenly dawn upon me at how much I miss writing poetry. Writing in poetic form is such a true reflection of one's thoughts because I think it captures beautifully all the emotions within it. Assuming that whoever reads it knows how to read between the lines, that is. Heh. It's what that is not apparent that is the truest.

unkapan kata selindung hasrat nan di hati
andainya ditafsir terserlah makna yang tersembunyi
renungan mata bukan pandangan biasa.

Beautiful.

There's so much incoherency in this post because too many things are doing a twirly whirl in my sea of mind that screams at me for escape. But you know how much I filter when it comes to writing in public. =)

it's time to understand that

2007-06-17T16:59:00.000+08:00

We are in the same place, the same phase, going through the same motion, but we live in extremely different spheres of existence which rarely or should I say, almost never, coincide.

So please, cease the questioning, people.

Because I DON'T have the answers.

all I need is to be that miracle

2007-05-31T22:15:00.000+08:00

It gets really sad when you see someone trying so hard to understand simple things that we often take for granted, but they just couldn't because of the presence of an inherent disorder that affects the level of 'intelligence' that they possess. I look at my tutee and I can't help feeling helpless every time she tells me that she knows how to solve the math problem but just doesn't know how to articulate it out because she finds it extremely difficult to connect all the dots together. Her mind is a mess of entangled numbers, operations and formulas and she often gets confused about when and what to add, subtract, divide or multiply. She reads a question and all that she sees is a mumble jumble of words and numbers that she knows represent something, but knows not what most of the time. And then when I go sentence by sentence, word by word, illustration after illustration, demonstration after demonstration with her, she understands a little but she almost never get the big picture, which seriously puts me at a loss. Even when she does get the big picture, she still cannot mix and match the information that she has processed and do the necessary equations to derive the answers. What should I do, can someone please tell me?

Sometimes I feel that I'm a lousy tutor and perhaps she's better off being taught by someone who has the expertise to handle her situation. But I know her parents could not afford the expertise because they once lament to me how expensive it really is to send her to a study centre that caters to her needs. They've tried, once, but they get financially strained when they do. Money. It's always about money.

Well, eventhough there is a slight improvement in her grades for the last exam, I still worry because the only subject that she passed is malay. What more, she'll be sitting for the PSLE and at the rate she's going, I fear for her. Thankfully her parents never put any expectations on me, but obviously all I want to ever achieve is to make sure she clears her PSLE and moves on to the next stage. And no, I am not going to give up on her because I know she can and she wants to do it. I've started on this long marathon with her, and I'm going to finish it with her, no matter what.

All she needs now is a miracle or rather can I be that miracle?

paper dreams

2007-05-28T17:26:00.000+08:00

Dreams
Like bees swarm to the flowers
Like conquerors fight for power
Like birds sing for their lovers
Burning with desire

Every Night
When I caught your eye on that beautiful night
My heart just skipped in delight
And as we ran down the streets under the moonlight
I can't deny you make my world so bright

You Are Not Alone
There are, some days
It seems like paper, dreams are torn
But you must still be strong
A dream you must hold on
Together we will go through
Don't be dismayed

Someday
Someday, when everything has come to past
We'll see what we have learnt at last
So why should we dwell in the past
Don't look back, good things can last
Our dreams though burnt and torn
But from their ashes they'll reborn
They may come true
They will come true
Our dreams we await you to come true

Snippets from Paper Dreams, Quintsical Production 06/07.

when nights falls and stars start to shine

2007-05-26T00:36:00.000+08:00

Finally, the much awaited meetup with the girlfriend! =) Good food, great company and of course endless chatter that knows no boundaries. It's amazing how much I can talk about everything under the sun whenever I am with this wonderful lady here. More get-togethers in the near future ok? Till then.

pabila akhirnya kubenarkan ia mengalir

2007-05-22T00:20:00.000+08:00

Kerana pada dasarnya
kaulah pencetusnya,
tatkala masa
penentu sejarah,
walau kau masih mencari
di mana kesilapanmu,
apakah ada garis sempadan yang
telah kau cerobohi,
bagaimana kau boleh terjerat
di tengah-tengah,

terpaksalah kau berfikir
mencari jawapan sendiri,
kerana jawapan tiada
tercatit
hanya kesamaran malam
menanti
sambil mengharapkan
kejernihan air mata sendiri
meleraikan
seribu satu kekusutan.

you lose when you dont have the courage

2007-05-15T13:33:00.000+08:00

Some things are better left unsaid even if it pisses you off, even if you think it's right and even if it hurts so bad that it kills you inside albeit slowly and painfully. Words. A careless remark, a slight slip of the tongue or even the occasional unconcious blurts in times of anger can only lead to undesirable consequences.

Sometimes, I wish I have enough courage to stand for what I think is right, to make it clear to others that this is what I want, instead of holding back and letting others win their case. It gets very, very frustrating when all you want is to argue your point of view but you cant because it's better to shut up than get into an argument. You cant because you fear that others may get hurt and in my case, I rather get hurt myself than step onto people's toes. You cant because it will make you appear hard-headed, stubborn, bossy and whatever negative adjectives you can think of.

I may be one of the most patient people in the world, but I do have my limits. It's reached and it's going to get really ugly if only I didnt have my self-control. Be glad that I still possess it. Be very glad. Or the hyde in me may just rear its ugly head in your face. Dont you ever test my patience because the most patient of people are the most dangerous when they finally lose it.

let me touch the bittersweet taste of freedom

2007-05-06T01:32:00.000+08:00

After a long, ardous period of going through the painful task of sitting for the exams (two whole weeks, mind you), I can finally catch my breath and heave a hugh sigh of relief. It definitely takes a huge amount of stamina to pull through and boy, I am glad that I came out alive. Or at least half-alive because I am still quite exhausted from it all. Oh well, the much-awaited break is already here, so it's time for lots and lots of fun!

Saturday was a really tiring day but I definitely enjoyed going out with the family. I just love family outings even if it was just to go out and have lunch or strolling in the park or even going to the supermarket. It's in simple things like these that makes life so much more meaningful, dont you think? Enjoying everyday mundanity around the ones that you love without actually having extravagent materialism clouding one's judgement of what is quality time spent with the people around you.

Anyway, I met my family for a late lunch at Causeway before hitting the mall just for the fun of it before we shift off to SGH to visit Pak Lah with a broken arm. And then we set off to Vivo since it was just one stop away from Outram Park. Let's just let the pictures do the talking, aye!

When it comes to food, no one bothers looking good for the camera.

Not missing out the mandatory cam-whoring sessions!

Enough pictures already! Adieu all!

Oh, by the way, to those who had pointed out that this humble abode of mine is like a monthly blog, I will TRY (at least I try ok) to update more than once a month. No promises though, knowing how I can be quite lazy at doing it. =p Heh.

of pink boxes, pink bags and pink cards

2007-04-08T14:12:00.000+08:00

I simply love long weekends. Now, who doesnt eh? And so I spent Good Friday holiday by meeting up with my dear girls. It felt good seeing all of them again. Although I had to wait for erm some time for erm someone, but let's not go there. Haha. Lunch/dinner at Hajah Maimunah and then they surprised me with my early birthday gift! Hehe. Everything is so pink, but it's ok girls, pink's one of my favourite colours other than good old mighty blue. I love everything in there from the Guess bracelet to the montage and the cute birthday card.

So a big, big, big thank you to Kak Guy, Nuriahtu, Amalina, Lydia, Syahidah and Redhuan! =) Thank you girls and guy! And to Syah, glad that u love your present as well, you fellow April baby! Love ya people! (Pics will be uploaded when I get hold of them. Nurry baby, upload quickly k?)

Back to reality. Exams are looming and I dont know why I am still ya-ya-ing away as if I've done all my studying. Haha. I better finish up my cnm by this weekend (gasps! today's sunday!) so that I can start on other things. Oh well, I dont really want to talk about exams, so let's just end it here shall we?

rightwords

2007-03-16T11:36:00.000+08:00

rightwords

oh words, where art thou?

when smooth like the flow of the river

you used to be

coming along and lulling away

like soft flutters in the nearby shore

so carefree and easy

for obstacles dont come your way

till now.

-Halimah-

kerana tiada cinta untukmu

2007-02-12T06:22:00.000+08:00

tujuh tahun berlalu sudah

bukannya aku tidak mengerti
pabila tujuh mencecah sejarah tercatit
kusangka api yang membara,
kurang maraknya ditelan
masa.

tapi,
aku tidak mengerti
sampai bilakah kau mampu bertahan?
ternyata,
tiada tanda mengalah
dari hati yang kau dambakan.
tiada rasa yang sama
dari hati yang kau impikan.

maafkanlah diri ini,
kerana
terpaksa menolak,
luahan tulus

naluri

hatimu.

-Halimah-

six full hours

2007-01-08T19:59:00.000+08:00

And so, semester two has kicked off. =) A rather pleasant start I must say although the third wave of a series of lectures I had for the day kinda pulled my mood down a little bit. Seriously, I hope I can survive the entire semester doing that particular module and it better be a tad more interesting in the future lectures to come. It's not that I find the first social life lecture boring per se, it's just that the contents were a bit conceptual, what more with no lecture notes on hand. I NEED to at least glance through the lecture notes before lecture in order for me to understand and follow the lecture. Haha. Call me a geek, but that's my style. But do note that I DONT read lecture notes beforehand, I just GLANCE at them, ok?

This semester is gonna be one hell of a busy but fun semester (I hope). With Teroka Seni and Silat being on the sidelines that run hand in hand with the academic arena, well, we'll just see how things turn out aye? I believe in going with the flow, let things blossom on it's own and insyaallah everything will turn out the way it's supposed to be.

On to other things, a friend once asked me; have you ever wondered, what is the purpose or function does it serve by putting one's race in the IC? I mean, would it really matter if we do not have it printed? And it got me thinking. Fair enough that it identifies you as part of an ethnic group in Singapore. But what about those people who are mixed blood, people who celebrate a fusion of two cultures in their lives, people who belong under 'others', people who are, by blood of a certain race, but culturally practice a different culture altogether?

What about me? In the eyes of the government, I am officially classified under Ceylonese (Sri Lankan, for those unacquainted) which is a subcategory that falls under Indian. Hence, statistically, I do not contribute to any statistics that concerns the Malay population but the Indian population. But I practise malay culture and speak the malay language and yet, I have never receive the 'free' education given to the Malays at one point in time, I never get any letters from Mendaki but Sinda. Frankly, I think I am much more in touch with my malay roots than some of the so-called 'pure' malays out there who despise their heritage and wishes to be someone else. Haha.

hiatus no more

2006-12-09T20:16:00.000+08:00

please pardon my extremely long absence

I am back!

First up, superbly outdated raya photos. Upon some people's request that I put it up no matter when, here goes:

Anderson Jalan Raya

R-cube: Rounding Raya Ra-Ra 2006 (Silat NUS)

TJ Jalan Raya

For the rest of the photos, do visit my visuals page. =)

On to more recent stuff, well, it's the holidays! Exams are already history and I shall not do a post-exam reflection that I intended to do cos it's over and done with anyway. With time on my hands, hmmm, time to do things that I like, meet up with the people that I love and of course, having my very much needed break. Heh. I'm going to make this a fruitful one.

raya 2006

2006-10-28T14:59:00.000+08:00

eid mubarak

Happy faces of Syawal!

ladies in the family

brothers

caught on camera!

festive flu

2006-10-23T23:16:00.000+08:00

festive flu - literally

I am in the festive mood right now despite the overwhelming things that I have to complete during the last weekend which left me quite breathless and on the verge of crying - then. Hah. But it's all over and I can now enjoy my Hari Raya with ease. But, but, but my beloved mother, brother and sister is down with stomach flu! Gosh, eve of raya and 3 of my family members got hit by the flu bug simultaneously. =s Get well asap ok, people?

Anyway, I headed down to the bazaar today (alone, mind you) to hunt for my golden scarf. I think I've finally mastered the art of talking to the salesperson without feeling shy or nervous. Frankly, I dont really feel comfortable talking to people I dont know especially sales people and most of the time, I let my mother or whoever is with me to do the talking and bargaining. Haha. Anyhoos, I managed to get my silky golden scarf at 15 bucks and nice pakcik actually helped me to match my "luminous" (according to nice pakcik) golden baju with a pretty scarf. Yay!

Ok, that's enough for the day, I think. The kitchen is beckoning...

week 9

2006-10-17T23:10:00.000+08:00

to understand it is to experience it

It is already week 9 of the semester and I am only starting to feel the stress. Some of you will probably shoot me in the head right this instant for I know that majority of you guys are already stressed up like way earlier with your numerous tests and projects. Eng and Geog projects are duly completed and boy, was it a relief when it was finally over. I am left with GE Practical 1 and 2, SEA Fieldtrip and Project, MS Project and JS Project and a stack of left behind readings to catch up on. Somebody kick me and tell me to get my butt moving instead of idling around as if I am the queen of academics. Ok, someone just did.

*scoots off*

opening of a new chapter

2006-10-16T01:00:00.000+08:00

on to new beginnings

I need a fresh start.

I should have started on a new blog earlier but I just didnt have the inspiration and the enthusiasm to write. So here is Grandeeflauras, being my new and hopefully lasting screen persona.